


Why Scott Lang Hates Secret Government Agencies

by Pixel Cat (Pixel_Cat)



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Guy in Suit is Phil!, Humor, Not Canon Compliant At All, Not sure where I'm going with this, What If S.H.I.E.L.D. just picked up Scott like yo, Why hasn't anyone done this yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixel_Cat/pseuds/Pixel%20Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shit, he was so fucked. Fucked so hard. S.H.I.E.L.D.? What the hell was S.H.I.E.L.D.? It had to be something big, especially with how orchestrated everything seemed. </p>
<p>....On the bright side, it could've been worse. It could've been HYDRA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Scott Lang Hates Secret Government Agencies

In all honesty, Scott should have known better than believe that life would return to normal after he duked it out with Cross. The real world didn’t work like that, _never_ worked like that. His life wasn’t a movie with a happy ending. Sure, he got himself into some deep shit with Hank, Hope, and the whole Ant-Man ordeal. And yeah, the police were still pretty twitchy with him too. Not to mention the strained relationship he had with his daughter after three years of separation. Cassie loved him and he loved her with all he had, but there’s nothing Scott can do to make up for the milestones in her life that he missed.

Of course, none of those things were the driving force behind why he now believes that life totally and royally sucked ass despite the fact that he helped save the world. Scott used to be a run-of-the-mill cat burglar, albeit he was a bit more talented and clever than most. So why the hell was he snatched off the street, given a firm love tap to the temple with the butt of a gun, and then tossed into the scariest holding cell he has ever seen in his entire life?

Oh wait. There’s an obvious answer to that obvious question. Ant-Man. It’s all because of the suit (and Hank, by extension. But Scott’s not gonna utter a word on the old man, there’s no way he can just out him after getting shot and finally being reconciled with Hope). Hell, he was probably taken by whoever funded the Avengers ( _God, he hopes it’s not the actual Avengers in person. Because holy shit, he’s not ready to face Falcon after thoroughly wrecking his ass at their headquarters_ ).

Or it could be HYDRA. Fuck, it could totally be HYDRA. They were interested in Cross’ Yellowjacket suit, and his approximate version of the Pym Particles. And from what Scott’s heard from the underground in jail, HYDRA wasn’t something that you messed with, even minutely. They’d make you disappear, and the people that did come back weren’t the same. Silenced indefinitely, by whatever means the organization saw fit to keep them quiet. No matter what reformation they had been selling to Cross, Scott knew that groups like that didn’t just change the moment they said they were clean.The corruption, especially in an operation as large as HYDRA, had to be more than skin deep. It had to be deep-rooted, clinging to every nook and cranny, reluctant to even be nudged out of place.

In any case, Scott was incredibly, laughably, almost pathetically screwed. On one hand, he had the Avengers, who most likely believed him to be some scumbag intruder with a few fancy tricks up his sleeves ( _why on earth did he think it was a fantastic idea to give out his name and show Falcon what he looked like. Shit, he was an idiot. Master’s degree in electrical engineering his ass_ ). On the other hand, he had the malicious HYDRA trying to snatch him up, presumably to nab him for the secrets keeping them away from revolutionary technology ( _which, joke's on them. Scott doesn’t know jack about the gritty details revolving around the discovery of the Pym Particles. He only knew the basics behind The Science Of Ant-Man For Dummies. He knew zilch compared to Hank_ ).

Damn it.

Scott sighed and stared at his hands, subtly testing the strength of the handcuffs that were slapped on his wrists. They clanked softly, but he knew it was useless. They were on tight, and he wouldn’t be able to slip his way out of them. Wistfully, his thoughts drifted to how easy it would have been to bust out of the cell in the Ant-Man suit. He’d only need to shrink and call forth some ants to help him out.

His mood only worsened as the thought of ants brought Antony back to the forefront of his mind. The little guy was the best pilot he could have asked for. Although Scott knew that he had lost more ants than just Antony, the quirky carpenter ant would always mean a little bit more to him. Especially after the whole Nearly-Fell-To-My-Death-Because-I-Got-Dizzy fiasco in the beginning of his time in the Ant-Man suit.

Scott is jostled out of his thoughts the moment the door to his cell swings open. Some bland looking man strolls in with a surprisingly thick file in hand. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what it’s about, and Scott is just waiting for the suit to start trying to rile him up. He’s been in this kind of situation a few times before with the police. But then again, whatever organization decided to kidnap him certainly wasn’t abiding by the law. Or at least, the law as it was to the public.

They sat in a heavy silence before the man finally spoke. “Scott Lang. Former VistaCorp employee, former Baskin-Robbins employee, and criminal. Charged with theft after the VistaCorp scandal along with many suspected thefts. And finally, charged with breaking, entering, and stealing from government property.”

“You mean, ex-criminal.” Scott adds before he can stop himself. “Ex, as in,” he flails, “no longer does crime.”

The man looks vaguely amused by his awkwardness before his eyes harden in a foreboding manner that has Scott swallowing down a lump in his throat. “You stole from one of the most secure facilities on the planet. Your stunt with VistaCorp was impressive, but our technology comes from the most cutting edge supplier out there. So make this easy and tell me, how did you do it?”

It was time. Scott had to pick one of two choices. Either he ratted out Hank about Pym Particles and saved his own hide, or he kept his mouth shut to spare Hank and throw himself into the fire. His choice didn’t even have to be thought over. He knew that he wasn’t going to say a word about Hank, so with that in mind, he offered the most bullshit response he could think of. “A magician,” he grinned, “never reveals his secrets.”

The man only smiles in return. “We know about the Pym Particles, Mr. Lang.”

Scott huffed out a dry chuckle. “Pym Particles? What are those, Mr. Suit and Tie? Some kind of science-y shit?”

“Like I said earlier, Mr. Lang, make this easy. We already know that you’re using Pym Particles. The question is, why do you know?”

At this, Scott is stumped on how to reply. He can’t just very well fess up to being the new Ant-Man. However, there’s only so much that he could lie about. If they already knew about Hank, what else could they know? Did they know about what Cross had tried to do? Did they know about the role that Scott played in their mission to save the world?

Instead of voicing his thoughts, he settles on remaining silent.

The man shakes his head and sighs. “You’re not making this easy, Mr. Lang. But seeing as you’re refusing to cooperate, we’re placing you under arrest. You will be detained here until further notice.”

The suit stood up and smoothly made his way to the door. Before he left the room, he turned around to shoot Scott a toothy grin. “You can’t hide anything from S.H.I.E.L.D., Ant-Man.”

Once the door clicked shut, Scott allowed himself to slump over in his seat. Shit, he was so fucked. _Fucked so hard_. S.H.I.E.L.D.? What the hell was S.H.I.E.L.D.? It had to be something big, especially with how orchestrated everything seemed.

**  
**....On the bright side, it could've been worse. It could've been HYDRA.

**Author's Note:**

> I was wondering when someone would write something about Scott being abducted by the super special awesome S.H.I.E.L.D. club, but what I was looking for never really came up. Soooo, I wrote this. Hopefully, you guys found it a little bit funny. I kind of wanna make this a multi-chaptered thing with a prompt per chapter. Like, idk, Scott meeting the Avengers, or his first official mission, or movie night, or Cassie meeting the Avengers. :)


End file.
